Thanks to social media, I am now able to creep on all the people I went to highschool and college with who I would only see at a reunion. I am able to witness them buy a house, get engaged, get married, have kids, have another kid, move, get divorced – all the things that happen in life, or at least all the things that they let you see. As we all approach 30, the aforementioned posts are happening near daily for each person. It’s great and I love seeing all of it. I love it even more for the people who I am still connected with, especially my tribe.
I am happy to share in the excitement of their engagements (some before they even know!), be a part of all the festivities and their support system. I get to be at their weddings. I get to answer their questions about pregnancy and childbirth. I am even more thankful for all of this because I went first.
Not first as in ha-ha I went first na-na, but as in I lived that exciting part of my life and I get to fully engulf myself in yours. I can help you learn from my mistakes and be an even better support system for you for each one of those major milestones.
Marriage. We got married in 2013 and it was amazing. Two of my closest friends just celebrated their one year anniversaries in 2016 and the other two I am sure will be married in the next two years. I am thankful that I can really enjoy each one of their special days. I am not looking at every part of their wedding wondering would I want that at mine or thinking I would do it this way I get to be there to enjoy myself and support them in my fullest capacity.
I also get to help keep them sane on that day with some helpful tips, like; give your phone to a brides maid. You don’t need to pick up a call from so and so saying they aren’t going to be able to make your wedding that’s in 5 hours because they can’t find a dog sitter. Just no. Or most importantly, bring your own alcohol into the limo, there isn’t enough free stuff in there, there just isn’t, believe me.
Babies. We found out I was pregnant with Maddox a few weeks before I graduated from college. There were four other girls that I had gone to highschool with that were pregnant at the same time and we would connect through facebook and support each other. I am so thankful for those girls and the support. By the time I was pregnant with Thatcher, one of them was also already pregnant with her second, and in the next few months, two more came forward with the news of a second. We each live in a different state but would reach out to each other through private message to check in, and comment on photos of OB appointments with things like ‘I feel ya girl’. I have met some of their kids, and others I have not and to be honest, probably never will in person.
I want to be that person for them. I want to be their go to. I cannot wait for my tribe to have children (if it’s in the cards for them). While our family is complete, my ovaries will always ache at the sight of a fresh out newborn, the smell, their tiny everything, the snuggles, just everything. And the way I see it, when they start to have babies, my youngest will be just at the point where she wants nothing to do with me and I am not talking a teenager – moms you know, when they just want to move around and all you want to do is hold them forever and never let go but they aren’t having it and the screaming commences. I figure that will be the perfect time for a little newbie to come along for me to steal snuggles from, get my fix and pass it back 😉
I will admit, while a part of me is a little bummed that we won’t be ‘going through it together’, I am happy to be their support. I can’t wait to get their news. I dream about the ways they’ll tell me (does this make me crazy?). I can’t wait to get videos and facetime to see the baby moving. I can’t wait for the birth announcement. I’ll be there for them that first night home in whatever capacity they need me. And I will love that little smosh like my own.
We haven’t gone first with everything as we have still yet to buy a house. But thankfully, one of my tribe has, and so she is that went first path carver for me, and I get to go to her with all my questions related to the headache of buying a house. It’s not a game, because everyone wins.