I’d like to get a little personal today, I am going to open up with something that has been kept between my husband and me for a few years. The decision to share this information with you was not a hard one, it was time to share this and hope that I can help at least one other mom out there know that she is not alone.
I suffer from Resting Mom Face.
To get the full effect, I’ll back up a bit. I had always known something was up, the people at the mall kiosks would never approach me, and people would always ask “are you ok?”. It wasn’t until the night when I was told “you should smile more” by a complete stranger as I was walking down the street, that I knew something was off. We went from specialist to specialist until we finally got the answers we were looking for. In the fall of 2013 I was diagnosed with Resting Bitch Face (RBF). The diagnosis wasn’t really a shock.
As we knew, there is no cure, but we were told it was manageable through therapy. I sought therapy and worked with my specialist to find ways to work through the diagnosis. Yet, as the years went by, I wasn’t feeling the progress that I wanted.
In the summer of 2016 after giving birth to my third child, it seemed to get worse. We took some time to find a new specialist in our new town. In the meantime things only got worse.
“Mommy are you mad at me?”
My (at the time) 4 year old asked me one day. In that moment, I was not mad at him. We were coloring and I was just ‘in the zone’. I knew I had to settle on a new specialist and get this sorted.
By the time February 2017 rolled around, I was diagnosed with Resting Mom Face [RMF]. Similar to Resting Bitch Face, but exaggerated by the sheer over tired zombie like nature of a mother. The years of interrupted sleep, repeatedly asking they boys not to fart at the table, and giving ‘the look’ when we were in public had rapidly increased the severity of my previous RBF diagnosis. I was told that prolonged exposure to being ignored, hearing ons name on repeat, stepping on LEGOs in the dark, and constantly walking into a bathroom where the TP roll has not been replaced can increase your risk of serious Resting Mom Face.
I am here to share this with you because I want to raise awareness about Resting Mom Face. Get yourself checked. Mama’s this shit is serious and it’s becoming an epidemic. From a fake study, that I did not actually conduct, one out of every one mom has or is currently battling with mild to severe resting mom face in the US. The numbers don’t lie ladies, this is a serious[ly fake] problem for moms. Take care of yourself mama. Before it’s too late.
You may suffer from Resting Mom Face if you’re;
- A mom
- In a perpetual state of being fed-up with your kid’s shit
Just like RBF, there is no cure. With the help of my specialist, I have found the following works well to manage my RMF; Wine. Girls night. Wine. Chocolate.
Show your [fake] support. Buy the Resting Mom Face shirt here.
*** This is NOT a real epidemic. I am not a doctor, specialist or any sort of medical provider, nor am I posing as one. This is a satire piece, please calm down. Check out all our legal stuff here.***