I love being a mother. It’s cliché, but it’s the best most amazing gift I have been given. The opportunity to raise three beautiful children that are a little bit of me and a little (sometimes too much) of their father is the best. What I have come to love even more than I thought I ever would is breastfeeding them.
After carrying each one with me everywhere I went for 9 months (more or less), I had the unrealistic expectation that I’d regain a bit of my personal space back once they made their grand entrance (or exit depending on your perspective). WHY WAS I SO UNINFORMED?!
So much like my list of the 7 things pregnancy could do without, there are the
7 things breastfeeding could do without
One. Sore Nipples
I mean, I feel like it’s pretty self-explanatory. Breastfeeding was honestly never something that I was like ‘YES, sign me up’ for. I was, indifferent. Fast forward five years and I am all about that boob. Having a little human constantly relying on you, using you as a human pacifier or teething device is exhausting and painful.
From that first painful latch and every latch there after until it’s perfected to the onset of teeth and biting. Thank goodness for nipple cream.
Two. Awkward Co-workers
I returned to work full time after each one of my kiddos was born. I was lucky enough to have the world’s most supportive boss when the boys were both born, who, without I would not have been able to feed my boys as long as I did.
The little miss however was born in the south. I worked as an HR Manager for a company that by default of the product, employed mostly young, single, gym trolling males. The sight of my pump (not being used) on the floor of my office, threw them into a whirl wind of giggles, and awkward high school behaviors. And God forbid one of them accidently touched or even caught a glimpse of the lunch bag in the breakroom freezer which housed my milk.
Please grow up.
Three. Unsupportive Pricks
This should really be first. Why didn’t I make this first…? Bottom line, it’s not your choice, it’s moms so STFU if you have nothing nice to say. You know what, you can actually just STFU unless you are giving me a high-five or some type of supportive gesture or comment about the amazing thing my body is doing and the sacrifices I have made to get here.
Four. Advice Givers
If I didn’t ask for your advice, I don’t want it. Did you mistake my unhooking my bra and latching my baby to breast for a conversation start?
Stranger: ‘Hey, I really feel like your child is under weight’
Me: ‘I know you hold no medical degree or knowledge, but can you please provide me with your expert opinion on what I should do?’
Advice givers and glarers, please reference this post.
If you can’t bring the baby, you can’t do it, rather, you only have 2-3 hours to accomplish something without baby in toe. Or if you’re lucky enough to have a small stash at home, you can always bring the pump with you and pump where ever you are.
Unless you have a cluster of boob mamas in the same boat, you are, by default the loner, or the singleton if you will. (Need tips on how to involve others in your breastfeeding journey? Check out this awesome post by Super Sirrious Mom)
Six. Leaky Boobs
I went to bed on my stomach last night. I woke up a bit later because I was cold. Why was I cold? I was lying in a puddle of breast milk. As the need for night feedings slowly decreases and we get closer to the one year mark, I have traded the 2 am pumping session for sleep. And thus because we have gone too long between feedings, let down to leaky boobs.
Baby sleeps too long, leaky boob. Hear a baby cry, leaky boob. Think about your own baby too much, leaky boob. SO. MUCH. FUN.
Seven. Size change
I went up four cup sizes when my kiddos were born. FOUR. These things were huge. Uncomfortably huge.
The first time around, I unfortunately got so engorged. It was so painful. Then once I got things under control things were a little more manageable.
Between pregnancies they would shrink back down and then down further and are smaller and less shapely (this is seriously the nicest way I can put this) than they were pre-kids/breastfeeding journey.
what things would you add to the list?